Maybe it was meant to be a memory. Traced back all the old posts, old blogs just now; I just wonder did you visited it anyway? Probably not, because I've locked it down now. All the posts that were for you, I've unpublished it and become the draft. Why? Because that's the memory for now & forever. We won't bother go through it again and we will never will. One day, probably you'll come back to me and we will read it & laugh so hard at our childish-ness or maybe we won't ever will? Well, only God knows. Probably now, when your name got mentioned in front of me, I wouldn't feel anything anymore but once I read something about you in my blog or even look back through the pictures, it makes me think why did we wasted our friendship just like that? Is it even because of me? I really don't know. People said I changed, yes, I did. I always fear of losing friends. Always do even until now, that's why I always please people even though I don't feel like it. After all, you even think I am a fake friend. You said I acted innocent. Sigh, what can I do? Even though I being nice to people, they would think I fake it. Fine, I don't care. So now, I tried being a bad ass friend. I purposely don't want to please them anymore. No more fetching people from their house. Being a no-fuck if they were not pleased with my attitude now. Isn't it better like this? Do not care how other people think, don't even have to be sad about it. Just be yourself, right?