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random 29
It’s really painful to say goodbye to someone that you don’t want to let go of, but it’s even more painful to hold on to them if they never wanted to stay in the first place. If someone doesn’t show you the same love that you show them, and acts as if you are unimportant most of the time, this may be a big clue as to the fact that you don’t need them in your life either. The only people you truly need in your life are those who respect you and want you to be in theirs
Once, I thought we could be the best-est friend ever despite all the people who were trying to break our friendship. But today, I know where I stand. I know it clearly now. You were not the one who ruined it but I did. You don't feel like forgiving me, it's alright. I will not ever tell you what I did for you and etc anymore because it's meaningless when you are trying to push me away from your life. I truly appreciate you as my friend. No one knows it best but I do about you. Yes, you had your badass temper but deep down, you do care. You care like nobody else. No one know but I do. There are so many times I'm grateful for you appearing in my life.
The first time, I cried badly in the car for an hour or two, you are the one who's beside me sit down quietly and let me drop all the tears. There are times where you stay by my side and side me when I had arguments with our friends. You did a lot, we had been through a lot. We overcome our arguments. Everyone asked if I had feelings for you, why do I care about you so much, why I could let go some friends in order to stay by your side. I didn't know how to answer but deep down I know it clearly, because you're like a brother to me. A brother which I could pour everything to you and you could solve it for me. You seems like you didn't care but I know, you do care with everything you had done for me.
This time, we couldn't solve it. You said you gave me a chance for an explanation but I ran away. I just want you to know, no matter what, I did not lie to you nor hurt you. I did not want to explain that time because it was between us and there's a girl who tried to interrupt. I called you 6 times the same night, but you didn't give me a chance to say it. Indeed because of this incident, I lost you and someone I finally can have a chance to fall for. Two of my most important person. I cried badly. You and him did not know. I was truly hurt. So I tried pulling myself out of the hole. I tried step by step to stand up and walk my life again without you two in my life.
I thought I nearly did it until your friend contacted me. She asked me a lot and I explained. I don't know if she would tell you what I said but clearly I know she did, and you didn't like her contacting me. We exchange a lot of things. A lot of opinions of helping you to find out. But you didn't like it. You tried everything to disconnect her from me. I don't mind as you were pretty mad at me still. I did not want her to argue with you as well. So I told her to leave it as well.
I told myself, it is my last time to contact you. It's my last time to reply your text messages but I couldn't do it. I refrained myself a lot. It's exhausting. Probably, I cared way too much. Even if I said this to you, at this moment, you will probably think it's fake and I acted innocent. It's okay, You wouldn't know it anyway. I watched back our videos, around 3-4 years ago when we went for our first trip ever to Genting. It was the most happy one I am sure. We didn't have arguments, we were best friends with each other, we lived and cared free. I cried watching that video thinking why things changed to a way that we will never imagined we would?
I just want you to know that no matter how hateful I am to you, I would always always and always be there if you need me. I would be there for you if no one is there for you. ALWAYS
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11:12 AM
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